I really believe the punctuality of the entire world would be improved if the snooze button was removed from all alarm clocks.

I'm getting sick and tired of not being old enough to go to bars. I think they need to make a place where kids under 21 can go and drink also. Oh wait, that's a frat party.

Formals are great - you get to wear a new dress and pretend like you are going to the prom, except you are older and way more mature. And instead of consummating your relationship with your high school sweetheart, you are going to get it on with that random dude whose roommate knew your cousin's best friend and set the two of you up so he'd have a date.

Napping is a huge part of my life. I live for naps. In fact, I live my life thinking ahead to the next time I can nap. I am at the point where I will easily sacrifice meals and/or social events for the sole purpose of napping. If someone wakes me up in the middle of a nap, I will become very irritable. When I come to that point where I no longer have adequate time for a nap during the day, I have apparently graduated college. I definitely think college is a time when you re-learn to value the basics in life. It's during preschool and college that this realization comes into play. I knew then what I know now: the good things in life are food in disposable containers, napping, and drinking out of bottles.

My newest hobby is reading away messages. It's like stalking, but no one will know you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages.

Do you have a hider name?  You know you do. You sit and watch your buddies signing on and off from the security of a secret name. The only glitch is when you forget that you are undercover and you IM a buddy. Now you have to make a whole new hider name. Meanwhile, I have twenty-seven screen names.

Do you feel that sense of unity wash over you as finals time approaches?  Suddenly everyone in your class is your best friend, you hold doors for people, you say hi to strangers.  And everyone smiles at you knowingly, with that look that can only mean, "yeah, I'm about to get anally raped too."

Whoever invented mistletoe is a genius. But whoever limited its use to one month each year is a cruel bastard.

The American Heritage dictionary definition of procrastination is to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness. The college definition procrastination is that you have five finals in the next two weeks, and you're actually reading this anyway.

Some people get really offended if they get blocked, even by someone they hate. Someone can hang up the phone when you call, totally ignore you on the street, and never answer your e-mails. But the second they prevent you from sending them a little yellow smiley face, it's personal.